एक लड़की / दिल की बातें

(This poem "एक लड़की" is written by a friend. And my version "दिल की बातें" is sort of a collaboration, like a response to that poem.)

एक लड़की

एक लड़की मुझको सीने से लगाना, चाहे भी घबराए भी 
रात गए उलझी ज़ुल्फ़ें, मुझसे सुलझाना, चाहे भी घबराए भी 

नाख़ून चुभो के मारेगी, अबके जो कमर पे हाथ गया 
शोर मचा के मुझको बताना, चाहे भी घबराए भी 

ख़्वाब से डरकर बिस्तर पर, घंटों घंटों पगली वो 
नींद में मुझको फ़ोन मिलाना, चाहे भी घबराए भी 

ऐन मुमकिन है उसे मुझसे मोहब्बत ही न हो 
दिल फिर भी उसको अपनाना, चाहे भी घबराए भी 

दिल की बातें

दिल की बातें जुबाँ पे लाना, चाहूँ भी घबराऊँ भी 
देख तुझे सीने से लगाना, चाहूँ भी घबराऊँ भी

याद करूँ हर सुबहो शाम, घर दफ़्तर या हो बाहर 
दिन की सारी बातें बताना, चाहूँ भी घबराऊँ भी

जब गेड़ी मारें सड़कों पर, झूम झूम के गीत सुनें 
धीरे से तुझे हाथ थमाना, चाहूँ भी घबराऊँ भी

मेरी फ़िक्र तुझे सोने न दे, तो चैन मुझे कैसे आए 
तब भी थोड़ा तुझको सताना, चाहूँ भी घबराऊँ भी

ये वक्त भी गुजर जायेगा

हर सावन के बाद है पतझड़,

हर शीत के बाद बहार,

ये वक्त भी गुजर जायेगा।

After every monnsoon, there is an autumn
After every winter, a spring
This time too shall pass!

Saved

Sometimes 

I feel lost

But then

I am always saved

I have three lifelines

Which keep me alive

Art,

Poetry

And

You.

Gratitude poetry

An year has ended

So that another could begin 

And I am so much thankful 

For this year which has ended

For the year which will now begin

For the people who left

For the people who stayed 

For the people who entered 

For the memories which were created

For the scars that proved me strong

For the support I have recieved 

For the dreams I continue to see

For the faith that's still unshakable 

For the love which never fades

For the hopes that continue to rise

And most importantly 

For the spirit of never giving up

For welcoming everything with open heart

For continuing living life 

And feeling thankful for everything that is

माना ज़रा

माना ज़रा कम आप बोलते हो 

एहसासों को लफ़्ज़ों में नहीं तोलते हो 

पर हमें तो रहता है इन्तेज़ार फ़िर भी 

राज़ अपने दिल के क्यूँ नहीं खोलते हो 

हम तो बादल में बैठे हैं मज़े में 

आप जाने जमीं पर क्या टटोलते हो 

दुनिया रह जायेगी, साथ होगा हमसफ़र 

इश्क़ को जो कोई दौलतों से मोलते हो 

गुल कई होंगे गुलशन में मगर 

इस गुल में खुशबू आप घोलते हो 

I write poetry

I write poetry

When words fail me 

I write poetry

When thoughts are too much

And expression is difficult

I write poetry 

When I am hurt

And when I hope

I write poetry 

To communicate 

I write poetry

To share my dreams

I write poetry 

To show that I love

And most of all

I write poetry

Because it's all me

Spread on a piece of paper

I don't know 

Whether you read poetry or me

You say you understand neither

And I say I believe you

But I am most afraid

That you understand 

Of what I am saying

And pretend that you don't 

हर बात की वज़ह

हर बात की कोई वज़ह हो, ये जरुरी तो नहीं 
अगर कह के भी अनकही रह जाये, तो अधूरी तो नहीं 
खामोशियों को भी जब, मिलने लगे जुबाँ 
तो अल्फ़ाज़ों की कैसी कोई, मजबूरी तो नहीं 
कोशिशों के समंदर में, उम्मीद की नाव है 
जो पार लग जाये, फिर दूरी तो नहीं 

कितने दफ़े

कितने दफ़े सोचते हैं
उन तमाम सारी बातों को
जो करनी हैं आपसे
पर कभी समझ नहीं आता
कि शुरू कहाँ से करें
कभी सोचते हैं ख़त लिख दें
कई बार लिखना कह पाने से
ज़्यादा आसान जो लगता है
पर फ़िर सहम जाते हैं
न जाने क्यूँ
सवाल और ख़याल कुलबुलाते रहते हैं
मुझे मालूम नहीं ये थोड़ा डर है या कोई झिझक
पर कभी कभी शब्द यूंही थम जाते हैं
कभी सोचते हैं कि आप क्या सोचते होंगे
क्या आपके भी दिल-ओ-दिमाग में
ऐसे ही उथल-पुथल होती है
क्या आप भी वह कह नहीं पाते
जो कहना चाहते हैं
क्या आपको भी कभी किसी अनजान बात का
डर लगता है
आपके सपने क्या हैं
आपकी चाहत क्या है
आपके दर्द क्या हैं
आपकी राहत क्या है
कितना कुछ जानना है
कितना कुछ बताना है
कितनी सारी बातें हैं
पर कभी समझ ही नहीं आता
कि शुरू कहाँ से करें
कभी सोचते हैं खत लिख दें
शायद ये एक ख़त ही तो है
कितनी सारी बातें हैं
जो करनी हैं आपसे
आना आप कभी फुरसत से
ज़िंदगी भर का वक़्त लेके

Weird dream

Sometimes I wonder why it is what it is

Like those dreams,

Which wake me up in the morning before I want to wake up

They are weird,

Not as much as me though.

The last dream I watched asleep,

I saw you. 

Yes, isn't it weird? 

'coz I don't think if I still remember your face correctly.

Well, even in the dream,

I saw pictures of you

They were happy pictures,

Of you and your family.

There was everyone who probably matter to you the most 

And you were happy.

Though in few pictures, 

You had aged a bit, 

And started looking more like your dad. 

You had slightly longer and curlier hair

And you were cleaned shaved

But you had a magical smile

And you still possessed those tiny dimples.

I saw you had posted happy pictures

And that you have probably started writing

I saw you had written poetry

Though I don't know why some of them were about loneliness

And in one picture I spotted a guitar which you were happily playing with your brother.

You had a small house and satisfied eyes.

I tried to look for you in the dream after I saw those pictures,

But I couldn't find you or your poetry.

Its not likely of me to watch such dreams

Seeing happy people sometimes make me sad or envious

But it wasn't a sad dream,

I felt happy and strangely relieved.

I wanted to save that dream, 

I wanted to share it with somebody,

Who's better than you to share it with?

Sometimes I wonder why it is what it is 

That its making me write poetry

Its always easier to write poems than talk, right?

Finding love

I often forget
What love is like
And then
I find poetry again!

Message in a bottle

Sometimes I am very much emotionally overwhelmed. I feel like my heart will almost burst with emotions and feelings. Those such times I just wish I had someone whom I could make sit with me, look into my eyes and then tell how and what I am feeling. Not needing any comments or reactions, but just to be present with me, there in that moment and just listen to me and feel what I am not able to convey through words. And if not feel, understand that I am feeling and it's okay to feel. 

Often I expect this from people around me and I think it comes off very naturally to human beings to expect. We are conditioned that way by our society, surroundings and relationships. That's where I fail. It's okay to feel but you can't make anybody understand that. You can't explain feelings to anybody unless they feel it. And worst, you can't expect them to understand that for you. 

Those such times I wish I just had somebody. May be that somebody is out there and we just haven't met yet. And those such times, I shoot words at the sky, in hope that somebody out there is catching them and feeling the same. Like my own little bottle with a message in it, thrown at the sea, only to be found by someone who was looking for it all the while. 

Successful Sunday

Sometimes I wonder what a successful day is for me. I had a successful Sunday yesterday, well, kind of successful. 

I woke up early in the morning, naturally and not by a alarm clock or phone ring. I felt well slept, refreshed, energized and motivated. I didn't procrastinate as I always do. I didn't lose myself in mundane chores of everyday household this day. 

I had set-up a nice working space for myself. I had put on some on my favorite music and some of 90's Bollywood music too (I must tell you they are an absolute mood up-lifter if you have never tried it, works like a charm). I made a delicious cold coffee for myself; rich, dark, strong, creamy, chocolaty, exactly the way I like it. I held brush after a long time. I tried blobbing paints on paper. I was not really very happy with my first painting attempt of that morning. But I was glad I was learning, I learnt what style worked for me, and what not. I didn't feel scared to try on new things. I started another painting. 

And then, I had to meet this beautiful friend for lunch. It was a simple lunch but oh don't we just love to hangout simply sometimes. Making travel plans, eating, a little shopping may be and most importantly, admiring and supporting each other. 

I continued my day watching old movies on Television and resuming painting. It felt nice. It felt relieved. It felt peace. I was really happy with my second painting I must tell you. I decided to treat myself a little and I put on my headphones and headed out to try some street food. I rarely go out alone to eat, but I love doing that. It feels great, like I have a power and I am enough. 

And those times, I was only wondering that how important it is to have such days, with no drama in it. I agree life is a very long, complicated, dramatic movie. The casting never ends. Genre keeps on changing. One moment you think its a romance genre and other you find it being drama. Its comedy but its sometimes mystery and crime too. Well, I keep trying for making it a musical with romance and comedy and very little drama too of-course, like a pinch of salt in it. And then, some drama did happen. What is this movie called life without drama in it, eh? 

So, I had a kind of successful Sunday yesterday. But it had me thinking, how I want all my life's days like! Being happy and feeling peaceful isn't really too difficult, is it ? But when an external force tries to change your initial inertia and cause you to change your movie's genre, what should you do? Resist? Change? Don't give a damn and keep on enjoying your own musical?! Trying to figure out this last bit... 

I hope you all had a successful Sunday too. Would love to hear what makes it work for you. 

The Greatest Showman

“The noblest art is that of making others happy”
― P.T. Barnum

I know I am shooting words in the sky
But may be someone out there
Will feel the way I do.
Music clouding all my senses
And dance flowing in the veins,
I am so emotionally overwhelmed,
Seeing people in love
Living a life of passion
Having sparkle in their eyes
Bright smile on faces
And feet always following rhythm of the souls.
The Greatest Showman, they called him
I don't know Barnum, but Jackman surely is
He makes me fall in love everytime,
With him, with art, with every single thing of beauty,
And all those amazingly beautiful people out there
Who just not only put up on a show
They make their lives motto to spread happiness.
I am so emotionally overwhelmed,
Music clouding all my senses
And dance flowing in the veins.
I know I am shooting words in the sky
But may be someone out there
Will feel the way I do.

दुआ में उठते हाथ

दुआ में उठते हाथ, तू इबादत है मेरी 

हाँ तू सजदा है मेरा, तू आदत है मेरी 

मेरे लबों की मुस्कान, नींद-ओ-चैन है मेरी 

तू ख़याल है मेरे, तू चाहत है मेरी 

मैं तेरा अक़्स, तू वज़ूद है मेरा 

तू गुरूर है मेरा, तू हिमाक़त है मेरी 

तू तड़प है मेरी, तू दवा है मेरी 

तू सुरूर है मेरा, तू शरारत है मेरी 

तू नींद में पीठ पर थपकी है मेरी 

तू अरमान है मेरे, तू राहत है मेरी 

I love you

I love you.

I wanted to tell you

Exactly how I am feeling right now

But I can't find words for it

May be there is no word for it.

It's like somebody is pulling me from inside

Crunching the innards 

And escaping a thousand butterflies

In the space that's created after.

Like my whole body is shivering

Coz it's missing the warmth of your hug

It's craving the touch of your skin on mine

And it needs its dope that's you.

It's like my heart is not pumping anymore

But walloping with a frequency of thousand each second

It's so full of love that it keeps bursting

And often its remnants come out the way of eyes.

It's like my mind is clouded

And everything appears hazy

It's searching everywhere for a shadow that's yours

I have no senses; for I find all my senses in you.

And my soul... it's waiting

For you are its ocean and it is the river

It will dissolve in you when it meets you.

And I will dissolve in you when I meet you.

शांति

बहुत शांति है यहाँ 
कोई सैलाब नहीं इस समंदर में 
धड़कनें भी थोड़ी धीमी हैं 
तेरे और मेरे दिलों की 
बेचैनी नहीं है कोई 
न कोई फाँसले दरमियाँ हैं 
किसी बात का डर भी नहीं 
न किसी रफ़्तार की न किसी मंज़िल की तलाश है 
बहुत शांति है यहाँ 
एक तू है, एक मैं हूँ 
और ये गहरा समंदर है 
लहरें हैं कुछ पर बेताब नहीं 
आसमाँ भी उदास नहीं कि आफ़ताब नहीं 

Storyteller

I used to call myself a storyteller

I thought I always have many stories

That needed to be told

That needed to come out

But I am thinking for last few days

Do I have any story to tell you?

May be many, may be none

Today I cant find any one

Though I want to tell you

About every atom that makes me Me

My hopes, desires, dreams

My regrets, experiences, schemes

My fears, darkness, screams.

I am open to you like an ocean

It's you who has to explore

You will find the hidden pearls

Keep diving till the core.

I am not really a puzzle

As the world thinks I am

Sometimes I think that too

That I am too complicated, 

But is that true that I am?

I am a blabbermouth I know

But I don't have a story today

I am a silent story in myself

If you listen what I can't say.

I wish

I wish we could talk all day long and night.

I wish that, but I wish so much more

I would have stared at your eyes as you would talk to me.

Observe the curves of your lips as they form words.

I will see in your eyes when your imagination goes wild

And you picture the whole world with me.

I would love your hair and out of the blue I would just ruffle them.

And when you suddenly stop talking and ask me "what happened", 

I would smile and say "nothing".

We would talk in words, we would talk in silences,

We will stare at each other with eyes closed.

I wish we could talk all day long and night.

I remember you

I remember you..

Like a shadow,

Sometimes appearing with sun but still always there.

Like a breeze,

Whose soft presence you can always feel.

Like a star,

Who would always be your guiding angel when all is lost and forgotten.

I remember you,

As you were there for me then,

As you are here for me now.

I remember you,

As you are.

But I want to see you again,

Soon...

Coz this memory isn't enough for me.

I want to look into your eyes,

More deeply this time.

I would read everything 

That you never say to me.

I want to know how it feels like 

To touch you

Are you really real?

How it feels like

To hold your hand?

I want to lean on your shoulder 

And forget that another world exists.

I want to whisper to you

And keep looking at your eyes.

And admire my best discovery in life.

I want to touch your face

And remember every freckle.

And all this while,

I want to remember you.

I will be your deep ocean

And you can be the diver

All the mysteries yours to unravel.

And I love you.

Letter

I often write to you in my head

All the things that I never say

I need you to know what clouds 

My mind all night and day 

I think about this distance 

That's spread for miles and miles

And the thought of just seeing you

Gives me jitters, makes me smile

And I wonder what you see 

In this crazy psycho me

That you're losing sleep and peace 

That you're falling on your knee

But I think about us the most

Are we real or just a dream?

I pinch myself to check

But doesn't work it seem

You say you love me so much

And show me the utmost care

But you're so afraid of some daemon

Who haunts you as nightmare

I want you to know that I am 

Standing forever tall beside you

You need not feel lost or scared

I'm here when its pink and its blue

There is so much more to say

But may be in another letter

Till then, just stay strong

Together we can make it better