Weird dream

Sometimes I wonder why it is what it is

Like those dreams,

Which wake me up in the morning before I want to wake up

They are weird,

Not as much as me though.

The last dream I watched asleep,

I saw you. 

Yes, isn't it weird? 

'coz I don't think if I still remember your face correctly.

Well, even in the dream,

I saw pictures of you

They were happy pictures,

Of you and your family.

There was everyone who probably matter to you the most 

And you were happy.

Though in few pictures, 

You had aged a bit, 

And started looking more like your dad. 

You had slightly longer and curlier hair

And you were cleaned shaved

But you had a magical smile

And you still possessed those tiny dimples.

I saw you had posted happy pictures

And that you have probably started writing

I saw you had written poetry

Though I don't know why some of them were about loneliness

And in one picture I spotted a guitar which you were happily playing with your brother.

You had a small house and satisfied eyes.

I tried to look for you in the dream after I saw those pictures,

But I couldn't find you or your poetry.

Its not likely of me to watch such dreams

Seeing happy people sometimes make me sad or envious

But it wasn't a sad dream,

I felt happy and strangely relieved.

I wanted to save that dream, 

I wanted to share it with somebody,

Who's better than you to share it with?

Sometimes I wonder why it is what it is 

That its making me write poetry

Its always easier to write poems than talk, right?

लत

उसे सिगरेट की लत थी
और मुझे उसकी
दोनों ही जलते थे
दोनों ही जलाते थे

वो जो सुकून
धुएँ में खोजता था
मैं उसके होने और न होने के
शोर में

धुआँ उसे मदद करता था
अपना आस पास भूल जाने में
शोर मुझे मदद करता था
अपना आस पास समझ आने में

जानते हम दोनों थे
कि जल ही रहे हैं
घड़ी दर घड़ी
पिघल ही रहे हैं

हर शाम वो मुझसे कहता था
कि बस अब ये आख़िरी है
हर रात मैं ख़ुद से कहती थी
कि बस अब ये आख़िरी है

पर सुबह फ़िर हो जाती थी
तलब फ़िर मच जाती थी
वो जलाता था सिगरेट को फ़िर
मैं जलाती थी अपने दिल को फ़िर

छोड़ना वो भी चाहता था
और मैं भी
छोड़ वो भी नहीं पा रहा था
और मैं भी

TinyTales #2

She paused her day chores to talk to him.

He paused her call to carry on with his day.

#Priorities

TinyTales #1

- And you'll just forget about me, right?
- Everyday...!!!

Promise

Life is life... no matter what!

I remember the day when it all happened. I lived because I was supposed to live...and I'm still living!

It was dark & dry. The loneliness spread as the night fell, all around my home. I was in my room, struggling with my thoughts & finding hard to sleep. I had almost decided to live back, but I didn't want to live that way. I had to do something and I knew it was 'now or never'.

It was a hard time. It was already late in  the night and I had exactly no idea, that to whom I could talk. I looked once around my room. No mess! Everything clean and clear, at the place where it was supposed to be. All which I found misplaced was me... myself. I didn't know where to put myself. I had no idea which way to choose for my future. So I looked back at my past... hoping it may give some clue.

Why it had to be so cruel?

"I really want to be with you... no matter what! I'll leave this world for you... please forgive me, this one last time!" "Get away" was his last words to me. I never saw him again. I knew I was wrong. It was 'my' mistake. I believed him in whatever he said. I trusted him & at the end, I didn't even get a chance to let the things explain to each other. I knew it was never even necessary.

I didn't knew, how he lived in this world, for this world. I just knew, how he lived with me, for me. Well, all good things come to an end some day, for better or not...no one never knows! He was there, right in front of me, holding in his hands what he had hidden from me all of his life, and I was there, in front of him, partly shocked, partly sorry. I somehow knew, I had to do that for the world, not mine, but other's. It was hard, I closed my eyes, & pulled the trigger.

"O' my God! I'm so sorry. I love you so much. But I had to do this. I couldn't let you play with innocent lives. I had to do this. But I really want to be with you...no matter what! I'll leave this world for you... please forgive me, this one last time!"

"Get away" was his last words to me. I never saw him again. He ran & disappeared in the dark. And I watched him, not knowing what I was thinking, I just kept standing still. And then, I broke. I knew what I had done. I knew I had  to do that.

I came back to my home, in a night dark & dry. I couldn't think of anything else but our last conversation. I promised him to be with him...no matter what!

Night was lonely, & decisions were hard to make. I served myself a hot coffee. I sat on the sofa & kept thinking. I somehow believed, he'll come back to me. I had had no sleep in my eyes. I kept waiting for him... & thinking what next should be done. 'What if he comes back and doesn't find me here?' 'What if he is staying out for tonight & wants to make a fresh start with a fresh day?' 'What if he's sorry too for everything he had done & he shouldn't have?' I had almost decided to live back, but I didn't want to live that way. I had to do something and I knew it was 'now or never'.

It was a hard time. It was already late in the night and I had exactly no idea, that to whom I could talk. I looked once around my room. No mess! Everything clean and clear, at the place where it was supposed to be. All which I found misplaced was me...myself! I knew where I had to put myself. I remembered my promise & set out to seek something.

Now, I was there, where we always used to be. I looked at the waves & the rocks & the sand.

A Moment of Freedom

And that one moment, she felt free. It was magical. Like she had no destination to reach, and all the paths ahead. She could savor the life till its last sip. With shades of orange, pink and purple, the sky appeared as the most beautiful canvas. And that one moment, she forgot the world. She felt alive.

Everything has paused. She could touch the little stars, and smell the wet air. And there she chose to live that moment completely, perfectly. With dreams of flying in the air some day, she just lied down on a bench in the nearby park, gazing at the sky - far, up and turned cloudy dark. But that moment seemed brighter than ever.

She just picked something to write. She could not afford to forget that ever, could not have any more regrets of forgetting.. And then she just seized the moment and captured it forever. She felt an amazing happiness inside. Coz that one moment, she felt free..... more magical than anything ever.

The Human Toy

There he was.. with his little eyes, small palms and the biggest ever smile on his face. He was little in length but had a heart of the size of the Himalayas. He had his dreams to live for and she was his most favorite dream. He wanted to live just one life, and he was living it all for her.

And there she was.. his cute, chubby, sweetie-pie; with sparkling eyes and strawberry lips. With her sweetness, she could melt the most bitter monster in the world.

They both were so good together; they always played together, ate together, roamed together; anyone would say, they are the best friends forever.

He adored her so much that he would never leave her alone. He would sing for her and dance for her and would make the funniest faces ever on the earth, just to see her smiling and laughing and enjoying.

And she was happy too. She wasn't all alone now. She always wanted a toy to keep herself excited n jovial all the time. And finally she got one too. And he was her most favorite toy.

The Silent Stare

It was so loud out in the party, with all that music, and glittering lights, and people. But deep down I could feel a deafening silence. And the silent stare from his eyes were penetrating even deeper inside me.

He was still looking at me. Like he wanted to say something. Were those questions for me? Or the answers which he always wished he could give to me? Or did he want me to read something up there by myself?

I tried to look and it seemed like a labyrinth. Why didn't he just simply come and talk to me? May be the words could have helped better. Or was it I myself who didn't want to talk? It was like two magnets, sometimes with opposite poles, but sometimes with similar.

Everything was hazy, and blurred. The only thing that was still and riveted was the stare from his eyes, with zillions of things to talk about.

And when I see up now, I find those eyes still looking at me.. silently!