तेरे इंतज़ार में

तेरे इंतज़ार में वो, रात कल सोई नहीं 

शमा पिघलती रही पर, आँख बस रोई नहीं 

क्या मुनासिब है जो इतना, हो सितम उसपे अभी 

क्यूं मिले उसको सज़ा, जब बीज वो बोई नहीं 

ढूंढता है कौन क्या कब, किसे है मालूम वो

हर गली कूंचे में देखा, उसने पाया कोई नहीं 

ये वक्त भी गुजर जायेगा

हर सावन के बाद है पतझड़,

हर शीत के बाद बहार,

ये वक्त भी गुजर जायेगा।

After every monnsoon, there is an autumn
After every winter, a spring
This time too shall pass!

माना ज़रा

माना ज़रा कम आप बोलते हो 

एहसासों को लफ़्ज़ों में नहीं तोलते हो 

पर हमें तो रहता है इन्तेज़ार फ़िर भी 

राज़ अपने दिल के क्यूँ नहीं खोलते हो 

हम तो बादल में बैठे हैं मज़े में 

आप जाने जमीं पर क्या टटोलते हो 

दुनिया रह जायेगी, साथ होगा हमसफ़र 

इश्क़ को जो कोई दौलतों से मोलते हो 

गुल कई होंगे गुलशन में मगर 

इस गुल में खुशबू आप घोलते हो 

Message in a bottle

Sometimes I am very much emotionally overwhelmed. I feel like my heart will almost burst with emotions and feelings. Those such times I just wish I had someone whom I could make sit with me, look into my eyes and then tell how and what I am feeling. Not needing any comments or reactions, but just to be present with me, there in that moment and just listen to me and feel what I am not able to convey through words. And if not feel, understand that I am feeling and it's okay to feel. 

Often I expect this from people around me and I think it comes off very naturally to human beings to expect. We are conditioned that way by our society, surroundings and relationships. That's where I fail. It's okay to feel but you can't make anybody understand that. You can't explain feelings to anybody unless they feel it. And worst, you can't expect them to understand that for you. 

Those such times I wish I just had somebody. May be that somebody is out there and we just haven't met yet. And those such times, I shoot words at the sky, in hope that somebody out there is catching them and feeling the same. Like my own little bottle with a message in it, thrown at the sea, only to be found by someone who was looking for it all the while. 

I love you

I love you.

I wanted to tell you

Exactly how I am feeling right now

But I can't find words for it

May be there is no word for it.

It's like somebody is pulling me from inside

Crunching the innards 

And escaping a thousand butterflies

In the space that's created after.

Like my whole body is shivering

Coz it's missing the warmth of your hug

It's craving the touch of your skin on mine

And it needs its dope that's you.

It's like my heart is not pumping anymore

But walloping with a frequency of thousand each second

It's so full of love that it keeps bursting

And often its remnants come out the way of eyes.

It's like my mind is clouded

And everything appears hazy

It's searching everywhere for a shadow that's yours

I have no senses; for I find all my senses in you.

And my soul... it's waiting

For you are its ocean and it is the river

It will dissolve in you when it meets you.

And I will dissolve in you when I meet you.

Letter

I often write to you in my head

All the things that I never say

I need you to know what clouds 

My mind all night and day 

I think about this distance 

That's spread for miles and miles

And the thought of just seeing you

Gives me jitters, makes me smile

And I wonder what you see 

In this crazy psycho me

That you're losing sleep and peace 

That you're falling on your knee

But I think about us the most

Are we real or just a dream?

I pinch myself to check

But doesn't work it seem

You say you love me so much

And show me the utmost care

But you're so afraid of some daemon

Who haunts you as nightmare

I want you to know that I am 

Standing forever tall beside you

You need not feel lost or scared

I'm here when its pink and its blue

There is so much more to say

But may be in another letter

Till then, just stay strong

Together we can make it better

कभी आता नहीं बाद

मिनट, घण्टे, दिन
गुज़रते हैं
लम्हे हर दफ़ा
यूँ फ़िसलते हैं
कुछ आस में
किसी पैग़ाम की
और वो जो न हो
तो दुआ सलाम की
लोग कहते हैं अक्सर
वो करेंगे वापिस याद
भूल जाते हैं मगर
कभी आता नहीं बाद

कब तक

कब तक खयालों से, कल्पनाओं से, दिल बहलाऊँ,
जो हकीकत का स्वरूप है, उसे कहाँ से लाऊँ।
बातें तो बहुत हैं, दुनिया की, चाँद-तारों की,
मेरे हाथों की लकीरें, पर तुम्हे कैसे दिखाऊँ।
हाथ छूते ही, बुलबुला है, धुएँ सा फट जाता है,
धुंध में सिर्फ तुम दिखो, तो तुम्हे कैसे छिपाऊँ।
साथ तो हर वक़्त हो, यादों में, तस्वीरों में,
चाहूँ भी तो लेकिन, बस गले कैसे लगाऊँ।
आस है, कि पास हो बस, तकती रहूँ रात-दिन,
जो नहीं समझते तुम, वो तुम्हे कैसे बताऊँ।

Spaces of Time

I think about you
And make faces in the air
Are you alive
Or am dreaming a lot
May be one day
I will come out of the dream
But I don't want to
I wish it be to true
And we be
In the same spaces of time

दोस्त

ए दोस्त
जा रहे हो तुम
क्या एसे  ही चले जाओगे

सब आज तुमसे कुछ न कुछ कह रहें  हैं
बता रहें  हैं तुम्हें
कि  तुम उन्हें कितना याद आओगे

आज जब तुम जा रहे हो
और सब तुमसे दिल की बात कह रहें  हैं
मेरे पास तुमसे कुछ कहने के लिए है ही नहीं
क्या है ऐसा
जो मुझे शब्दों में कहना पड़े कि तुम समझ जाओ?

तुम तो जा रहे हो
पर लग ही नहीं रहा मुझे ऐसा
बदला ही क्या है अभी यहाँ

पर अब ज़रूर कम हो जायेंगे थोड़े ठहाके
रूठना मनाना और छेड़खानी ज़रा फ़ीकी लगेगी
पता नहीं इतनी परवाह भी अब कौन करेगा मेरी

सन्डे के दिन जब बोरियत हो तो नहीं होगी अब लड़ाई
और रातों को भी सोने से पहले नहीं कह सकूंगी
"पानी दा रंग" गाना बजाने के लिए
और हर मुश्किल में पता नहीं
अब किसे करना होगा याद

कहीं एक कोना ऐसा भी होगा
जहाँ से निकलते हुए हर रोज़ जायेगी नज़र
पर नहीं होगे वहाँ तुम
क्यूंकि जा रहे हो तुम

सोच रही हूँ क्या कहूँ क्या नहीं
कुछ बातें शायद कह देने से कम हो जायें
मुझे पता है तुम समझते हो उन्हें

मैं लिखे जा रही हूँ
पर अभी भी लग नहीं रहा
कि सच में जा रहे हो तुम
अब शायद कल जब नहीं होगे तुम
तब लगेगा कि तुम चले गए हो
तुम्हारी बड़ी याद आयेगी
वापिस जल्दी आना लौटके ..

Life of a Friendship!

Sometimes I think, how good it would have been if we were always two strangers to each other!

But sometimes, few things have to happen, or how would people get memories otherwise!

When we think life's good, all's well, kinda perfect; we have ignored that deep drown tears of loneliness in our hearts; and we are learning to kinda adjust in all sort of circumstances; then we meet that someone whom we always needed the most... a friend, our Best Friend!

I donno what thunderstorms life was showing to me. I was just looking for a good reason to stay. Then like a shooting star, you came. I had only started to admire your sparkle, but why did you disappear? I was in no hurry, then why were you?

Why were you always so quick in everything and I wasn't? You happened so sudden, and I didn't believe anything. I opened my eyes and saw the glitters. Something had changed. Yeah, the gloomy night had changed!

I was completely lost in the beauty of that moment. I was loving every single thing around me; dancing, singing, lost in the love with myself all over again; and then.. a sudden thuddd and I had to wake up from my dream... 

There was no light, no sparkle, no star...

Oh! You were just a shooting star!

Its time to get back to my closet!

I will wait till the night is over.. with your memories..

The life of our friendship can't be so less. I hope you'll come back soon. And this time as the bright shining sun, to stay with me.. Forever!

I'm waiting...