लत

उसे सिगरेट की लत थी
और मुझे उसकी
दोनों ही जलते थे
दोनों ही जलाते थे

वो जो सुकून
धुएँ में खोजता था
मैं उसके होने और न होने के
शोर में

धुआँ उसे मदद करता था
अपना आस पास भूल जाने में
शोर मुझे मदद करता था
अपना आस पास समझ आने में

जानते हम दोनों थे
कि जल ही रहे हैं
घड़ी दर घड़ी
पिघल ही रहे हैं

हर शाम वो मुझसे कहता था
कि बस अब ये आख़िरी है
हर रात मैं ख़ुद से कहती थी
कि बस अब ये आख़िरी है

पर सुबह फ़िर हो जाती थी
तलब फ़िर मच जाती थी
वो जलाता था सिगरेट को फ़िर
मैं जलाती थी अपने दिल को फ़िर

छोड़ना वो भी चाहता था
और मैं भी
छोड़ वो भी नहीं पा रहा था
और मैं भी

Careless words

There is only something that I hate so much

Careless words

Words that dont mean anything

Words that are just lying in the air

That you just catch and throw

No

Words that doesnt connect

Words that doesnt come from inside

Your mind, your soul

Words that have no purpose

Words that are mere an excuse to remove silence

No

Words that are poison

For your mind

For your emotions

For your sanity

Words that stab you

Right where it can kill

Because you didn't notice what you are saying

Because you didnt find it important 

Because they were just careless words for you 

Finding love

I often forget
What love is like
And then
I find poetry again!

Message in a bottle

Sometimes I am very much emotionally overwhelmed. I feel like my heart will almost burst with emotions and feelings. Those such times I just wish I had someone whom I could make sit with me, look into my eyes and then tell how and what I am feeling. Not needing any comments or reactions, but just to be present with me, there in that moment and just listen to me and feel what I am not able to convey through words. And if not feel, understand that I am feeling and it's okay to feel. 

Often I expect this from people around me and I think it comes off very naturally to human beings to expect. We are conditioned that way by our society, surroundings and relationships. That's where I fail. It's okay to feel but you can't make anybody understand that. You can't explain feelings to anybody unless they feel it. And worst, you can't expect them to understand that for you. 

Those such times I wish I just had somebody. May be that somebody is out there and we just haven't met yet. And those such times, I shoot words at the sky, in hope that somebody out there is catching them and feeling the same. Like my own little bottle with a message in it, thrown at the sea, only to be found by someone who was looking for it all the while. 

Successful Sunday

Sometimes I wonder what a successful day is for me. I had a successful Sunday yesterday, well, kind of successful. 

I woke up early in the morning, naturally and not by a alarm clock or phone ring. I felt well slept, refreshed, energized and motivated. I didn't procrastinate as I always do. I didn't lose myself in mundane chores of everyday household this day. 

I had set-up a nice working space for myself. I had put on some on my favorite music and some of 90's Bollywood music too (I must tell you they are an absolute mood up-lifter if you have never tried it, works like a charm). I made a delicious cold coffee for myself; rich, dark, strong, creamy, chocolaty, exactly the way I like it. I held brush after a long time. I tried blobbing paints on paper. I was not really very happy with my first painting attempt of that morning. But I was glad I was learning, I learnt what style worked for me, and what not. I didn't feel scared to try on new things. I started another painting. 

And then, I had to meet this beautiful friend for lunch. It was a simple lunch but oh don't we just love to hangout simply sometimes. Making travel plans, eating, a little shopping may be and most importantly, admiring and supporting each other. 

I continued my day watching old movies on Television and resuming painting. It felt nice. It felt relieved. It felt peace. I was really happy with my second painting I must tell you. I decided to treat myself a little and I put on my headphones and headed out to try some street food. I rarely go out alone to eat, but I love doing that. It feels great, like I have a power and I am enough. 

And those times, I was only wondering that how important it is to have such days, with no drama in it. I agree life is a very long, complicated, dramatic movie. The casting never ends. Genre keeps on changing. One moment you think its a romance genre and other you find it being drama. Its comedy but its sometimes mystery and crime too. Well, I keep trying for making it a musical with romance and comedy and very little drama too of-course, like a pinch of salt in it. And then, some drama did happen. What is this movie called life without drama in it, eh? 

So, I had a kind of successful Sunday yesterday. But it had me thinking, how I want all my life's days like! Being happy and feeling peaceful isn't really too difficult, is it ? But when an external force tries to change your initial inertia and cause you to change your movie's genre, what should you do? Resist? Change? Don't give a damn and keep on enjoying your own musical?! Trying to figure out this last bit... 

I hope you all had a successful Sunday too. Would love to hear what makes it work for you. 

The Greatest Showman

“The noblest art is that of making others happy”
― P.T. Barnum

I know I am shooting words in the sky
But may be someone out there
Will feel the way I do.
Music clouding all my senses
And dance flowing in the veins,
I am so emotionally overwhelmed,
Seeing people in love
Living a life of passion
Having sparkle in their eyes
Bright smile on faces
And feet always following rhythm of the souls.
The Greatest Showman, they called him
I don't know Barnum, but Jackman surely is
He makes me fall in love everytime,
With him, with art, with every single thing of beauty,
And all those amazingly beautiful people out there
Who just not only put up on a show
They make their lives motto to spread happiness.
I am so emotionally overwhelmed,
Music clouding all my senses
And dance flowing in the veins.
I know I am shooting words in the sky
But may be someone out there
Will feel the way I do.