Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Message in a bottle


Sometimes I am very much emotionally overwhelmed. I feel like my heart will almost burst with emotions and feelings. Those such times I just wish I had someone whom I could make sit with me, look into my eyes and then tell how and what I am feeling. Not needing any comments or reactions, but just to be present with me, there in that moment and just listen to me and feel what I am not able to convey through words. And if not feel, understand that I am feeling and it's okay to feel. 

Often I expect this from people around me and I think it comes off very naturally to human beings to expect. We are conditioned that way by our society, surroundings and relationships. That's where I fail. It's okay to feel but you can't make anybody understand that. You can't explain feelings to anybody unless they feel it. And worst, you can't expect them to understand that for you. 

Those such times I wish I just had somebody. May be that somebody is out there and we just haven't met yet. And those such times, I shoot words at the sky, in hope that somebody out there is catching them and feeling the same. Like my own little bottle with a message in it, thrown at the sea, only to be found by someone who was looking for it all the while. 

Monday, April 16, 2018

Successful Sunday


Sometimes I wonder what a successful day is for me. I had a successful Sunday yesterday, well, kind of successful. 

I woke up early in the morning, naturally and not by a alarm clock or phone ring. I felt well slept, refreshed, energized and motivated. I didn't procrastinate as I always do. I didn't lose myself in mundane chores of everyday household this day. 

I had set-up a nice working space for myself. I had put on some on my favorite music and some of 90's Bollywood music too (I must tell you they are an absolute mood up-lifter if you have never tried it, works like a charm). I made a delicious cold coffee for myself; rich, dark, strong, creamy, chocolaty, exactly the way I like it. I held brush after a long time. I tried blobbing paints on paper. I was not really very happy with my first painting attempt of that morning. But I was glad I was learning, I learnt what style worked for me, and what not. I didn't feel scared to try on new things. I started another painting. 

And then, I had to meet this beautiful friend for lunch. It was a simple lunch but oh don't we just love to hangout simply sometimes. Making travel plans, eating, a little shopping may be and most importantly, admiring and supporting each other. 

I continued my day watching old movies on Television and resuming painting. It felt nice. It felt relieved. It felt peace. I was really happy with my second painting I must tell you. I decided to treat myself a little and I put on my headphones and headed out to try some street food. I rarely go out alone to eat, but I love doing that. It feels great, like I have a power and I am enough. 

And those times, I was only wondering that how important it is to have such days, with no drama in it. I agree life is a very long, complicated, dramatic movie. The casting never ends. Genre keeps on changing. One moment you think its a romance genre and other you find it being drama. Its comedy but its sometimes mystery and crime too. Well, I keep trying for making it a musical with romance and comedy and very little drama too of-course, like a pinch of salt in it. And then, some drama did happen. What is this movie called life without drama in it, eh? 

So, I had a kind of successful Sunday yesterday. But it had me thinking, how I want all my life's days like! Being happy and feeling peaceful isn't really too difficult, is it ? But when an external force tries to change your initial inertia and cause you to change your movie's genre, what should you do? Resist? Change? Don't give a damn and keep on enjoying your own musical?! Trying to figure out this last bit... 

I hope you all had a successful Sunday too. Would love to hear what makes it work for you. 

Thursday, April 12, 2018

The Greatest Showman


“The noblest art is that of making others happy”
― P.T. Barnum

I know I am shooting words in the sky
But may be someone out there
Will feel the way I do.
Music clouding all my senses
And dance flowing in the veins,
I am so emotionally overwhelmed,
Seeing people in love
Living a life of passion
Having sparkle in their eyes
Bright smile on faces
And feet always following rhythm of the souls.
The Greatest Showman, they called him
I don't know Barnum, but Jackman surely is
He makes me fall in love everytime,
With him, with art, with every single thing of beauty,
And all those amazingly beautiful people out there
Who just not only put up on a show
They make their lives motto to spread happiness.
I am so emotionally overwhelmed,
Music clouding all my senses
And dance flowing in the veins.
I know I am shooting words in the sky
But may be someone out there
Will feel the way I do.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

वो कवि नहीं है


वो कवि नहीं है 
वो कविता नहीं करता 
वो कुछ कहता भी नहीं है 
शब्द खो से गये लगते हैं 
आज भी मचलती है उसकी कलम 
उसके ख़यालों के साथ ही 
न जाने क्यूँ आज भी 
ज़िंदा रखा है उसने 
एक अधूरी सी कविता को 
जो अब पूरी नहीं होगी 
पर मैंने वादा किया है उसे 
नये शब्द देने का 
हम साथ ढूंढेंगे उनके आयाम 
और लिखूंगी मैं उसके लिये कवितायें 
क्यूँकि वो कवि नहीं है 
और वो कविता नहीं करता 

Monday, November 27, 2017

दुआ में उठते हाथ


दुआ में उठते हाथ, तू इबादत है मेरी 
हाँ तू सजदा है मेरा, तू आदत है मेरी 

मेरे लबों की मुस्कान, नींद-ओ-चैन है मेरी 
तू ख़याल है मेरे, तू चाहत है मेरी 

मैं तेरा अक़्स, तू वज़ूद है मेरा 
तू गुरूर है मेरा, तू हिमाक़त है मेरी 

तू तड़प है मेरी, तू दवा है मेरी 
तू सुरूर है मेरा, तू शरारत है मेरी 

तू नींद में पीठ पर थपकी है मेरी 
तू अरमान है मेरे, तू राहत है मेरी 

Thursday, November 9, 2017

पुराने महल


पुराने महलों के मलबे को माथे से लगा रखा है, 
और सोचते हैं कि नसीब बदलता क्यों नहीं।

Puraane mahalon ke malbe ko maathe se laga rakha hai,
Aur sochte hain ki naseeb badalta kyun nahin.

Monday, October 23, 2017

दिल का हाल


कभी जलता हूँ धुऐं सा, कभी लहरों सा बहता हूँ,
जो तू न हो पास मेरे, तेरी यादों में खोया रहता हूँ,
तुझे तो ख़ामोशी के सिवा कुछ न दे पाया मैं,
आज ये बूंदें पिरो, दिल का हाल मैं कहता हूँ। 

Kabhi jaltaa hu dhuyein sa, to kabhi lahro sa bahtaa hu,
Jo tu na ho paas mere, teri yaadon me khoya rahtaa hu,
Tujhe to khamoshi ke siwa, kuch na de paya main,
Aaj ye boondein piro, dil ka haal main kahtaa hu.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

I love you


I love you.
I wanted to tell you
Exactly how I am feeling right now
But I can't find words for it
May be there is no word for it.

It's like somebody is pulling me from inside
Crunching the innards 
And escaping a thousand butterflies
In the space that's created after.

Like my whole body is shivering
Coz it's missing the warmth of your hug
It's craving the touch of your skin on mine
And it needs its dope that's you.

It's like my heart is not pumping anymore
But walloping with a frequency of thousand each second
It's so full of love that it keeps bursting
And often its remnants come out the way of eyes.

It's like my mind is clouded
And everything appears hazy
It's searching everywhere for a shadow that's yours
I have no senses; for I find all my senses in you.

And my soul... it's waiting
For you are its ocean and it is the river
It will dissolve in you when it meets you.
And I will dissolve in you when I meet you.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

शांति


बहुत शांति है यहाँ 
कोई सैलाब नहीं इस समंदर में 
धड़कनें भी थोड़ी धीमी हैं 
तेरे और मेरे दिलों की 
बेचैनी नहीं है कोई 
न कोई फाँसले दरमियाँ हैं 
किसी बात का डर भी नहीं 
न किसी रफ़्तार की न किसी मंज़िल की तलाश है 
बहुत शांति है यहाँ 
एक तू है, एक मैं हूँ 
और ये गहरा समंदर है 
लहरें हैं कुछ पर बेताब नहीं 
आसमाँ भी उदास नहीं कि आफ़ताब नहीं 

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Storyteller


I used to call myself a storyteller
I thought I always have many stories
That needed to be told
That needed to come out
But I am thinking for last few days
Do I have any story to tell you?
May be many, may be none
Today I cant find any one
Though I want to tell you
About every atom that makes me Me
My hopes, desires, dreams
My regrets, experiences, schemes
My fears, darkness, screams.
I am open to you like an ocean
It's you who has to explore
You will find the hidden pearls
Keep diving till the core.
I am not really a puzzle
As the world thinks I am
Sometimes I think that too
That I am too complicated, 
But is that true that I am?
I am a blabbermouth I know
But I don't have a story today
I am a silent story in myself
If you listen what I can't say.