Independence or Identity?

(August 15th, 2009)

A very happy Independence Day!

A great day really... I need not to say much as most of the things have been said already. I just need to remain firm with my decisions and promises to everyone else and myself!

Its not the single day when I think I'm living in an independent nation with people still not independent from the shackles of identity.

Why India? Why America? Why Pakistan? Why Russia?

Why Boy? Why Girl?

Why Old? Why Young?

Why Hindu? Why Muslim? Why Christian?

Why Black? Why White?

No doubt every coin has its two faces, but when do we forget that being a coin is important... none is interested in heads & tails. Then, why the discrimination here???

We all are same...creatures...existing & living... with thoughts, so that the survival remain continued and a better world with more love can be seen.

Why the 'spirit' need to be searched now? Why people have became too reluctant to worry about anything but themselves? Why they find pleasures in building their castles on the dust of someone's home? Why do they fight and enjoy it at the same time?

Oh please, don't say no one enjoy the fights & terror! Its not the aliens who come and shatter the dreams & hopes of people living on earth!

When every other thing is diagnosed, the root cause of illness still remain ignored! A world without any identity at all is not possible! And if you too believe in this, then a better world's imagination cannot be forever!

If today is not the time, then I promise you & warn you that the time will never come!

I personally hate any sort of identification but I fear that even I'm so bound that I can't ignore the names given to me.

I'm known to every other person & every other is known to me by one or the other way of identity.

Be it identity not here, everything would have same & all the people with same mind & under same category. But then, the world wouldn't have progressed, as no scale would have left for measuring the changes, because even if changes are there, everything would have changed as whole leading no means to trace back the earlier status as no identity is available.

Being with identity is problem!

Not being with identity is also problem!

What should a man do then???

Its never said to ignore identity at all, but its said to remove the discrimination.

To visualize a world that is 'one', this is very important!

Zindagi aur Khwaab

Zindagi aur Khwaab, sab ek nahin hote,

Zindagi to sach hai aur khwaab fasaana.

Zindagi bahut kasi huyi hai

Dard se, bandhanon se,

Ansuljhi gutthiyon se,

Karm ka bojh sir par le,

Jaagna hota hai insaan ko,

Daudna padta hai umra bhar,

Aur fir haar jana hota hai ant mein,

Zindagi bahut kasi huyi hai.

Par khwaab,

Use to koi kabhi samajh hi nahi paaya,

Use koi kabhi samajh bhi nahi sakta,

Use bhala koi kabhi samajhna bhi kyun chahe,

Itni aazadi aur shaanti, bhala aur kahaan hain

Aazadi vichaaron ki,

Aazadi kuch na karne ki,

Aazadi kabhi na jaagne ki,

Aazadi kabhi na haarne ki.

Par kisi raat chahe savera ho na ho,

Jaag hi jaata hai insaan

Pataa nahi kaunse dard se,

Pahchaan kar paana bhi mushkil sa lagta hai

Bas itna samajh aata hai, wo jaag gaya

Kyunki use jaagna hota hai,

Aur jaanna hota hai ek aur sach

Sach jo sabko ek kar deta hai.

Bhala zindagi aur khwaab ek hi to hain

Ek din sabka ant ho jaata hai

Aur ant hi to hai sabse badaa sach.

Mujhe ant ki parwaah nahi

Par khwaab, uska kya karun

Wo to fasaana lagta tha

Aaj wo bhi sach nikla

Pahle di kuch aashaayein,

Aur fir toot ke bikhar gaya

Usne bhi diya dhokha aur dard

Kitna sach hai, kitna sahi

Khwaab bhi kitne kase huye hain.

A Journey to the Wonderland - Part I

And today, I witnessed the most miraculous, most mysterious, most wonderful dream of my life.

Yes, it was dark…dark and night. I had lived the dream. I was living the dream. Very tired and very bored, irritated and frustrated with the scorching heat of this summer, I kept lying on my bed trying to sleep. Having enough dose of my daily gossips with ‘rjs’ and after listening enough music with them, my mind thought, a part of mine should go to the rest now. Or it should go for a journey. A journey to nowhere but a wonderland where anything and everything is possible. Possible with just a snap of fingers.

I was lying on my bed, still trying to sleep. My cellphone with radio fm playing on it and earphones plunged into my ears, I was lying on my bed. I had enough talk with a friend and rest all was very silent to make sound. I had to do nothing but to sleep. So, I kept lying, my radio still switched on.

I don’t remember exactly in which hour of night, I actually fell asleep, but it might be midnight after 1 or 2. I was sleeping, with music flowing through my ears. And a part of my mind slept. It was ready for the journey. The journey to the Wonderland.

Unless I have not seen the dream, unless the journey has not started, I had no idea that the wonderland begins at my home. My own home. And my own room, with the bed on which I was sleeping. Or trying to sleep with earphones plunged into my ears with music flowing through them. Yes, that was the time, when my mind partly slept. It is a bit tough to understand. As sleeping and dreaming is a complexly infinitely running process. As it is the imaging in two opposite mirrors. As it is the traveling through time stations. Yet, we go with it. As a journey has to be completed. A destiny must be reached.

When I was sleeping, or the part of my mind was sleeping, everything was still and calm as it is supposed to be. The only sound I knew that time was of my fm radio.

Everything was intact. We all siblings in one room. My mother in another. And father along with my grandfather in his room. All were sleeping and might be living their own dreams. Heat was tough and burning and irresistible to us. In spite of the fact that the air coolers were on, we pray, it would be better if it were winters. But we did not bother much. It rained a little in the evening and night will get more cooled with its darkness. So, we slept. Slept in the utmost silence. It was till then, that everything was intact.

And then the journey began. A journey I remember when I’m awake. A journey which I’ll remember throughout my life.

I was sleeping in my room. Everything was intact and then, suddenly, a roaring sound came. A sound I knew was from nowhere. But it was. That sound was bold and loud, very loud. With earphones plugged, in my ears, I tried to pretend myself that I did not hear anything but the words coming from earplugs. But the truth has a different path. And I had to take it to proceed the journey.

I kept lying pretending nothing happened, but everything was not intact. I saw my siblings sleeping. I don’t know if they too were just pretending like me. To me, they were sleeping. I might have not known, whether the people in other rooms were sleeping or are in same hole of mystery where I was, if my Papa had not got up and leave his bed in a moment.

Just after the moment, we heard the great roaring, my Papa ran into my room to make sue that everything is intact, everything is safe, everything is secure. He saw three children drowned in their sleep as if nothing happened. But don’t know how, he found that one eye was open. He found the plugs in my ear and my fingers on my cellphone. Afraid with the mysterious roaring and unwanting to accept that everything is not intact, I switched off the radio on my phone. And then he knew which eye it was. It was none but me. In mystery and surprise, he asked me without wasting a moment, if I heard something. I was confused, and as surprised as he was. But I had to make an answer.

Being afraid of my own thoughts, I told him It’s nothing to worry. I don’t know, to whom I was giving console, when I myself was afraid. But as I did not want to accept the roar, I tried to postpone the matter. I told Papa that the roar may just be of any animal. Things may make sound; even the doors and windows can make great noise when wind struck them, but if you think it’s suspicious, consider it the roar of any tiger or cat. Unconvinced with my answer, my father left the room. And unconvinced with my own answer, I kept lying on my bed. I just did not want to untie a knot. I did not want to solve any mystery. For me, wonders are most beautiful on earth.

But the journey cannot be halted unless the destiny is achieved. So, I kept lying on the bed and tried to sleep. At some moment of time, I knew, I had to get up. I suddenly opened my eyes again and leapt on my feet. I was excited and wanted to know if Papa had solved the mystery. I stepped out of my room. A sudden ‘shhhh…’ entered my ears from a distance and my steps froze. The dull, silent environment, as if some CBI officers had entered the home to arrest a criminal and they are taking their steps with utmost silence and precautions, so that the criminal may not get alert and ran wildly anywhere, spread across the rooms. My eyes were wide opened on my weary face. So as the face of Papa could be seen. He was standing at the inside gallery amidst all rooms. He was at a meter distance from me but could see something which no other eye could. He said it’s just a l’il creature and he’ll show him the way out. I was making my mind to step inside my room again when he again said something. He told me to move to the hall, so that I can have the company of my mother and can find relief from the hotness of the weather. I moved towards the hall. It was undoubtedly cooler than nay other room. When I walked through the other end of hall, I found some figure lying on the sofa, some on floor, all covered with sheets or blankets. I felt the room was chilling enough for it. But on moving closer, I found their eyes wide opened. Their face pale and their hands clenching an end of their white blanket sheets, they thought it would be better if they don’t tell me now. I was not in hurry. For me the wonders are most beautiful. I looked around the hall and found the front main door wide open. It was dark outside. And the breeze was colder. Rarely do we open that door when it’s dark. I found it romantic and wonderful and got out of the hall.

The journey had to show me more than I thought.

(to be continued...)

Praised Lord of Star!

Just a few words... its not for the praise of a great friend Alfan... its just a l'il gift for him which tells what he is....

The day is remembered,

Even by the history,

The day still unsolved,

The day still a mystery.

The hills echoing carols,

The aureole shimmering bright,

When the Lord landed on earth,

The universe filled with light.

Born to chase triumphs,

Sworn to ne'er desist,

To portend the Lord's grandeur,

The epics can't resist.

Nourished by the stars,

Imbibed with naivety,

Befriend to astrayed,

Connoisseur for subtlety.

A bijou, reckless & robust,

A soul, solicitous & wise,

To extol Lord's tacit zenith,

The words may not suffice....

(to be continued...)

For the 'Chosen One'

That is You...

A drop in the rain,

A healer in the pain,

A fellow for alone,

The Chosen soul.

That is You..

A sweet chum,

Difficult and lazy,

But a bijou so worthy,

Amusing and crazy.

That is you...

A step in the miles,

Spreading smiles,

A beginning to an end,

A true Friend...

Yes it is YOU...

Countless tears and I'm drowned !!!

Broken, depressed and lost. Unsatisfied with everything and myself, deceived with my love and seized in endless fear....I shed these tears and they too get evaporated leaving me alone with my loneliness.

I'm all bitter; filled with anger, jealousy and hatred; tired of my own duplicity and wearing the mask of a playful smile. I feel haunted. I feel no sense, no time, no pithy. I just cry and cry and cry out aloud; until I feel every stone of my heart shaken. I see my surroundings and cry out aloud. I find no light, no life around me. I wait for the rain to hide my tears. I stretch my hands with eyes full of expectations. But rain show two drops and go away at a distance again. I feel like that too is laughing on me; it feels pity; tells me to look upon myself; and again burst into laughter. It taunts me, 'Oh! You are the great mahatma who wants to replace my job! Good! Good! Keep trying!' And I burst once again into tears.

I tell God, why you gave me all this. And he merely replies, 'That's all you'd ask for!' i feel helpless. I want to go to my chums, but they're all filled with sympathy; and just and only sympathy. And I find no shoulder to cry upon. I'm very angry with myself. I'm irritated and frustrated. So, I make mistakes; I make sins. I show hatred to everyone. I sweep the smile away. I see everyone with same dark spectacles; and no one ever looks fair to me.

I feel grudge. I feel regret for everything I did and did not. Why did not I understand that earlier? Why did not I say it earlier? Why did not I do it earlier? Why was I so...??? And it goes on forever like this. I feel pity. I feel loneliness. Then, all the fear come and start eating me up. What if this all never stop? What if I never talk to them again? What if they never remember me? What if they never listen listen to me? What if they discard me for everything? What if I never find love? What if I never find peace??? And I keep fighting with my fears and myself...!

I'm still fighting... but I know I'm not gonna always!

Let God's judgement win again...!!!

Love you Ma, Love you Papa

For my loving parents...

(on their 25th wedding anniversary)

April 19th, 2009

Ishwar ki di deh ko insaan banaya aapne,

Hamaare saath apna ek chhota sansaar sajaaya aapne,

Jeevan diya aapne, jeena sikhaya aapne,

Kaise insaan bane khubsoorat nageena, sikhaya aapne,

Khud jitni bhi mushkilein ho, aap sadaa muskuraate rahe,

Hamein har khushi ko khushi se baantna sikhaya aapne,

Kitna pyar aap karte hain hum sab se,

Hamein insaaniyat se pyar karna sikhaya aapne,

Aapne apne jeevan me koi jashn na manaaya,

Hamein jeevan ka jashn manaana sikhaya aapne,

Kitne pal nyochhavar kiye, aapne din-raat hamaare liye,

Hamein aasmaan ki bulandiyaan chhuna sikhana aapne,

Aapne apne sapne hamaari aankhon me dekhe,

Sapne hakeekat karne ki himmat, jutaana sikhaya aapne,

Aapko kuch kah sakein hum, itne to shabda bhi nahi,

Apni bhavnayein vyakta karna sikhaya aapne,

Aaj hum jo bhi hain, bas aapki duayein hain,

Yoon garva se seena uthana, bhi sikhaya aapne,

Jeevan diya aapne, jeena sikhaya aapne...

Sooraj Ko Bujha Do

I wrote this poem in the entrance test of Editorial Board of my Institution. There we got just a line "Sooraj ko bujha do..." and everyone had to write anything starting from it. What I wrote is in front of you all.

Sooraj ko bujha do,

Yeh darpan chamak raha hai,

Ya is ghor prakash me dekho,

Ek pratibimb damak raha hai.

Wah talaash karta hai,

Shayad mil jaye ek aakaar,

Rang-roop ka koi bhed nahi,

Bas ho jaye kuch sapne saakar.

Mil jaaye use thodi si aazadi,

Aur is aajeevan qaid se mukti,

Zyada dhan ya gyaan ki chaah nahi,

Au' na chaahe koi saansarik shakti.

Kutta, billi, bhala, balla,

Ya panchhi aur gagan udaan,

Chaahe kyon na bana do patthar,

Par mil jaaye ek pahchan.

Ludhak-pudhak wo kahin bhi ghume,

Ya nadiya ke sang bahe,

Padaa rahe banjar bhoomi par,

Par peeda aur na qaid sahe.

Sooraj apni chamak se dekho,

Kaise ye darpan chamkaaye,

Main maanav hoon, mujhe hi meri,

Dekho kaisi pahchaan bataye.

Sooraj ki ye dhoop sunahri,

Mera tan chhalni karti hai,

Koi aaj bujha do sooraj,

Vyaakul ruh aahein bharti hai.

Me and My Beliefs

God's most special child...I believe it to the core of my heart.

A perfect Dreamer... who hates to see reality. Yet I know, its there...bigger and bitter.

A typical Leo... bold, audacious, love to be praised, magnetic, hide emotions well, hates when anyone ignore, love to help others.....

I believe things shouldn't be ideal, because they vanish as soon as they reached that state.

I believe everything in the universe is relative, symmetrical, binary... and having multi-dimensions.

I believe 'Life' is the greatest gift God has given to us, we must not waste it.

I believe answer to many of my questions is a truth... and that is "I'm human."

I believe that before dying if I help atleast one person in the world to live life happily just because I'm there... then my living will be successful.

I believe I know myself better each time than I knew it the last time. If you find something new, don't be surprised... I'm equally astonished.

One more philosophy to add to my beliefs:

When you have a beautiful mind, everything become beautiful for you. And when you feel everything beautiful, life become beautiful too.... that's why I feel "A Beautiful Mind is Enough!"

I'm living... because I believe it!

I'm happy... because I believe that too!

I believe, I see, and that all happens to me :)

Install Love, It Is Really Quite Simple

This is an article I came across while reading THE SPEAKING TREE column, Times of India newspaper. I found it worth sharing to all this world.

PS: It's freeware :) Share it with everyone you meet.

Enjoy Love!

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready, as long as you walk me through the steps. Tell me now, what do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programmes running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: Er... what programmes are running, can you list them for me?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, you can go right ahead. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programmes.

Love will eventually override Low Self-esteem with a module of its own called High Self-esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programmes prevent Love from being properly installed.

Tell me, can you turn those off?

Customer: Umm... let me see. Actually, I don't know how to turn them off. Can yo tell me how? Please help.

Tech Support: With pleasure. It's really quite simple. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Wow, Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base programme. It's quite basic. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, 'Error - Programme not run on external components.' What should I do now?

Tech support: Don't worry, relax. It means that the Love programme is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realise Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done. That wasn't too difficult.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the 'My Heart' directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smiles is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to pass it and its various modules around to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, thank you so much.

First Step

Learning new lessons everyday is a part of life. But the part which is most important and we generally forget it, is the implementation in our lives what we have learnt.

We know that a simple misunderstanding can create distances between two persons.

We know that its always good to take the first step in filling gaps.

We know that sometimes, our initiatives can also make very strong bridges.

All that we forget is that we need to do it also, apart from just knowing it.

(As all say, just by knowing that when I get up early and go for a jog, will keep me fit, is not sufficient, but I actually need to go for it also.)

Today I took a first step, in hope that the mile's distance will be covered someday.

Its not enough to know that you dislike and hate some person. You should know what qualities make you feel so. You are actually capable of doing a lot great than you think you are of.

"The Secret says: You need not to worry about the whole path. Just take the first step in faith."

Today I told him that I feel bad about few things. I hope he will take care of some little things which can avoid huge misunderstandings and will cause us work in a healthy environment.

Ecstasy

I'm feeling happy... I've set the state of my mind to that condition.

Thinking that, that I'm happy, I'm happy :)

Wow... sometimes its just pleasant to know that life is simple and easy.

My Beautiful Mind is helping me a lottt.....

I'm feeling gratitude & wanna thank all the pleasant & non-pleasant things happened to me.

Whatever they've taught me & I've learnt so far from them, I am rejuvenated, elated, & feeling the very special essence of my being....

There is nothing particular to mention, for this whole universe is so great... that's the power of cosmic rays... that's the power of being self !!!

Oh! I'm feeling passion for this world...this life !

I don't wanna become a sage now. This materialistic world is something more than money & comfort... its love, desires, dreams & passions... Am I really raptured in delight? Dunno, but I'm flying among the clouds & I wanna be in this long-lasting dream forever... with open eyes...not seeing anything... but just flying me !!!

Forever !

That suffocating eve of The Hostel !

There are always things in life which change so much too soon that we don’t even get time to analyze them. Things do happen, they are meant to be. It’s just up to us how we let them come about. One day or one night is enough to transform one’s world. And sometimes, one moment as well. Changes don’t come giving us an alarm. Or even if they, we are not always blessed to understand them. And even if we understand them, it’s important to keep ourselves cool, calm and composed.

You might be thinking, why I’m telling all this to you. Actually it once happened with me too. I am a student, studying in a prestigious and renowned institute. I enjoy my life as every other adolescent in this world. I have friends and I like to enjoy with them. Like every other day, I returned from my classes and sat with my friends in their dome planning the evening. And then, after sometime, something happened which made such a deep impact on my life, I might not get able to stop thinking about it. How worse the things can be, if you don’t treat them well, I understood just after that incident.

It was a sunny and tiring day. After attending a bunch of classes, I with my friends Ritika, Apurva, Nandini and Priya, returned back to the hostel. Our hostel is solely for girls. We all have habit of making freaky plans there. As we all returned, instead of moving directly to my room, I entered my friends’ dome and we kicked off our hilarious talks. We were screaming, laughing, playing and enjoying. Suddenly a deep far voice entered our ears. The voice heard familiar at the first earshot but we didn’t try hard to understand what message it was trying to convey us. We kept continue our chatting and after sometime I felt the urge to go back to my room. I waved them a goodbye happily and left the room. While passing through all the corridors between our rooms, I saw each gaze was frantic. Everyone seemed to be freezed and panic. I could now make out what was that voice for. The day had come. We had no choice but to witness that crisis.

I had never been so much helpless in my life before. All I could see was tall standing walls and boys around them. It was not like I’m sick or scared of boys, but it seemed like every male human being is shifting himself in my hostel. At the same time, whole world of juniors was seemed to be disobeying me. Whatever I said, they ignored. Wherever I went, people burst. For me they were aimless brutes.

The warden was shouting. All had strict orders to stay in the room and co-operate. I had no idea what she meant by the “co-operation”. I couldn’t understand even a single thing and whenever I tried to apply my silly logic, I found myself more confused and suffocated. I went from one place to another screaming for help, but none seemed to care. Air was getting more and more tense. I could see boys, more boys, shifting their each and every stuff in my hostel – The Girls’ Hostel. I saw every corner. Everything seemed to be moving around my eyes. It was hard enough for me to keep hold of my sight. I prayed God and tried to realize what is happening and why. The suffocation was now killing me.

I tried hard to focus but everything became blurred. The entire scene was white now. And suddenly it became dark. Where was I? With much of the effort I sensed my surroundings. I realized that I’m alive, Awake and lying on my bed. Everything I could found there was that There is no Change. Oh! I was dreaming once again. I thanked God and solaced myself for that nightmare has came to an end. And I lay down long trying to suspire, still unable to make out anything from everything.

A new start !!!

We all are humans with brain embedded in our head. How much we use it, this is of course up to us!!

Ha ha, for so long I was thinking of doing this and doing that... most importantly start blogging and giving myself some food for thoughts. I thought daily about it, as if one worships his God, without even a single miss.. n see when today i didn't think and actually did it, the result in front of you :)

I believe everything is possible... I'll learn to express myself very soon!!