दो पल

कितने दिन हो गए हैं
चैन से बैठी नहीं दो पल को
खुद से करने के लिए दो बातें,
पता नहीं ज़िन्दगी की किस उधेड़-बुन में
निकल गए कितने दिन
और कितनी रातें.

आइना तो आजकल रोज़ देखती हूँ
पर खुद को देखे हुए
एक अरसा हो गया है.
कभी याद आता है अपना
सिसकियों से भरा चेहरा,
तब कितना वक़्त मिल जाता था मुझे
अपने गम को आंसुओं के साथ बाँटने के लिए.
अब तो मैं मशीन की तरह
चले जा रही हूँ
क्या सच में जीना भूल गई हूँ मैं?

बहुत दिनों से दिल खोल के
एक ठहाका भी नहीं मारा है मैंने.
कहाँ चले गए हैं मेरे सारे दोस्त,
ज़रूरत है मुझे उनकी
सपनों की उड़ाने भरनी हैं उनके साथ.

कितनी अकेली हो गई हूँ मैं
पर दो पल फ़िर भी नहीं मिलते
कभी खुद से बात करने के लिए.
सोचा, चलो आज क्यूँ न सही
लेकिन उफ़, कितना अच्छा होता गर
साए से साथ छुड़ाना भी मुमकिन होता.
खैर, तलाश अभी भी ज़ारी है...

Happy Friendship Day

Hi Friends,
Many years ago I wrote this for 7 no's Friendship Day's party.. Today I wanna tell you once again.. I'm really blessed to have friends like you in my life :)

Aaj din hai dosti ka,
Dosti ka ek paigaam,
Sirk aapke naam...

Dosti, ek rishta,
Samudra sa vishaal,
Dosti, wo aasmaan,
Jiski chhanv tale,
Har gam sirf guzra hua kal,
Aur har khushi,
Ek sunahra pal.
Dosti, ek mahki si hawa,
Ek khubsurat ghazal,
Ek atoot vishwas,
Ek pyara ahsaas.
Aur dost...
Har pyaare pal ke saathi,
Sachche saathi,
Dost, teri dosti, tere pyaar ko salaam...

Fear of Failure

Perfection!

It is that one word for which all wanting the best are crazy. I dont know if I really want to be the best, but I'm sure there is nothing lesser than perfect that I desire. Aiming perfection is kinda good. You keep giving your efforts till you know yes-thats-how-I-wanted-it. You might give less results, but sure you give your best ones. But should you really make this a habit; achieving perfection?

Perfection has done something bad to me. It has caused me a fear. You lose your balance just one step and thuddd - you are trapped in the fear of failure. I have done things crazily, giving my best, getting the results which I will like to call just perfect; but in the long time run, it has make me kinda coward and too much afraid. Now I feel reluctant to start a new thing, because I just feel that I might not get it perfect. No one gets it perfect everytime. I still need to learn that.

I have had enough now of not starting few things; if started, never completing them; if completed, never believing that yes-it-is-it! I must learn that imperfection is better than the regrets caused later.

I pray to God that once again I get the courage of doing things.. no matter whether perfect or not!

I pray that we all get able to remove the root cause of fear of failure - Perfection!

Let colors be flown and spreaded in the way they desire..

Let words pour out like little droplets of rain.. unmeasured!

Amen

Wonderful Miracles :)

Just a little attempt to frame a few words in a thread, so that I can remember forever my most favorite scenes from a movie..

Its so wonderful
In a boat amid the vast sea
Where its calm and silent
And you can feel the peace in water.

Its so wonderful
To feel the air of freedom
Running through your veins
Where you are like a bird high in the sky.

Its so wonderful
To watch the horses run
And be able to believe
That if there is any heaven, it is here on this earth :)

Promise

Life is life... no matter what!

I remember the day when it all happened. I lived because I was supposed to live...and I'm still living!

It was dark & dry. The loneliness spread as the night fell, all around my home. I was in my room, struggling with my thoughts & finding hard to sleep. I had almost decided to live back, but I didn't want to live that way. I had to do something and I knew it was 'now or never'.

It was a hard time. It was already late in  the night and I had exactly no idea, that to whom I could talk. I looked once around my room. No mess! Everything clean and clear, at the place where it was supposed to be. All which I found misplaced was me... myself. I didn't know where to put myself. I had no idea which way to choose for my future. So I looked back at my past... hoping it may give some clue.

Why it had to be so cruel?

"I really want to be with you... no matter what! I'll leave this world for you... please forgive me, this one last time!" "Get away" was his last words to me. I never saw him again. I knew I was wrong. It was 'my' mistake. I believed him in whatever he said. I trusted him & at the end, I didn't even get a chance to let the things explain to each other. I knew it was never even necessary.

I didn't knew, how he lived in this world, for this world. I just knew, how he lived with me, for me. Well, all good things come to an end some day, for better or not...no one never knows! He was there, right in front of me, holding in his hands what he had hidden from me all of his life, and I was there, in front of him, partly shocked, partly sorry. I somehow knew, I had to do that for the world, not mine, but other's. It was hard, I closed my eyes, & pulled the trigger.

"O' my God! I'm so sorry. I love you so much. But I had to do this. I couldn't let you play with innocent lives. I had to do this. But I really want to be with you...no matter what! I'll leave this world for you... please forgive me, this one last time!"

"Get away" was his last words to me. I never saw him again. He ran & disappeared in the dark. And I watched him, not knowing what I was thinking, I just kept standing still. And then, I broke. I knew what I had done. I knew I had  to do that.

I came back to my home, in a night dark & dry. I couldn't think of anything else but our last conversation. I promised him to be with him...no matter what!

Night was lonely, & decisions were hard to make. I served myself a hot coffee. I sat on the sofa & kept thinking. I somehow believed, he'll come back to me. I had had no sleep in my eyes. I kept waiting for him... & thinking what next should be done. 'What if he comes back and doesn't find me here?' 'What if he is staying out for tonight & wants to make a fresh start with a fresh day?' 'What if he's sorry too for everything he had done & he shouldn't have?' I had almost decided to live back, but I didn't want to live that way. I had to do something and I knew it was 'now or never'.

It was a hard time. It was already late in the night and I had exactly no idea, that to whom I could talk. I looked once around my room. No mess! Everything clean and clear, at the place where it was supposed to be. All which I found misplaced was me...myself! I knew where I had to put myself. I remembered my promise & set out to seek something.

Now, I was there, where we always used to be. I looked at the waves & the rocks & the sand.

A Moment of Freedom

And that one moment, she felt free. It was magical. Like she had no destination to reach, and all the paths ahead. She could savor the life till its last sip. With shades of orange, pink and purple, the sky appeared as the most beautiful canvas. And that one moment, she forgot the world. She felt alive.

Everything has paused. She could touch the little stars, and smell the wet air. And there she chose to live that moment completely, perfectly. With dreams of flying in the air some day, she just lied down on a bench in the nearby park, gazing at the sky - far, up and turned cloudy dark. But that moment seemed brighter than ever.

She just picked something to write. She could not afford to forget that ever, could not have any more regrets of forgetting.. And then she just seized the moment and captured it forever. She felt an amazing happiness inside. Coz that one moment, she felt free..... more magical than anything ever.