Once I asked a friend 'how are you'. He told me he is 'surviving' and he shared his story. I was glad he was willing to tell and I had to tell him he is doing a great job at life. But when I asked the same question to many other friends, they said "fine" or they didn't even bother to answer or register the question. And in most cases, they didn't ask me back how I am. It left me wondering how people don't ask anybody anymore how they are doing. A part reason could be people don't always tell truth when they tell how they are. We always want to skip the big talks. We like avoiding questions that are asked about our feelings. We hide why we feel what we feel. We don't like to be exposed of our emotions. We find comfort in the fact that not many people can read us like an open book. And we prefer choosing a safe answer over a truthful one.
I have been asked this question a few times. Among those few of the times, I have tried to answer it honestly. Once I told a friend I am feeling anxious. I knew he would ask me the reason and he did; but I had none to offer. I couldn't find the reason of anxiety myself. I wanted to share if somebody is hearing me out but I didn't know the reason. People don't accept that you can't know why you feel particularly so. For them, feelings come in a pair with reasons. And everything has to be combined with logic. Once a colleague asked me at work how I am, and I told him I am hungry. He was very kind to accept my answer and he suggested options for breakfast. Many times I have told my friends that I am feeling joyous. They have asked me the reason. Sometimes I had them, sometimes I didn't; but they celebrated with me. Many times I told my friends I am feeling depressed. They only told me I am crazy to feel so. That it's just in my mind and I shouldn't think much. But I wonder why they didn't want to accept the answer then. Feeling negative emotions is as much a part of life as feeling the positive ones. I am only a human! A human with bones and flesh and all my virtues and flaws!
For last few days, I have been feeling a lot of negative emotions. Feeling of being deserted, feeling of not being cared for, feeling of not doing enough and feeling of regret over all the wrong choices I had made in the past. I know there is no point investing your time over a few things, because thinking again and again won't really make you feel better. But some times all you need is somebody who genuinely asks you how you are, and not give grave suggestions like "stop thinking". Only if I could really stop thinking, life would have been so much easy! But sometimes it's okay to think. All we need is somebody who understands that it's really okay so. Who accepts that it's okay to feel sad or lost. People just need to have a belief that we will come back around. And not knowing and getting confused is as much a part of life as exploring and having faith.
Sometimes all we need is just somebody who listen to us. Everyone has a lot to say. But are we ready to listen to them? Are we ready to know how they are before actually asking them? Are we ready to share how we are?
Find the answers in your heart today. Ask this to yourself, your friends and people around you.
How are you?