Life and Death

Today I don't want to believe that I'm going to last for 75 years.
I want to feel death. I want to feel what it is like to die?!

I do not mean to say that I want to die. I am not sick, I am not depressed, I am not defeated; and if you must think, I am not bored either. It is not like life is missing big adventures or surprises, I just do not feel that I am living.

Lub-Dub Lub-Dub Lub-Dub

That is how heart beats, that is how we know we are living. I do not listen to that sound. I want to immerse in that music which is above all the worldly pleasures. I want to feel my every heartbeat.

I want to feel the miracle - the miracle of life. Each day when I wake up, I want to be thankful for being still alive. I want to feel every time I breathe, knowing that I am fully alive.

I want to feel free, being capable of choosing every moment of my life to spend my own way. To be able to sing or dance like no one's keeping an eye on me. To be able to jump and try to touch the sky. To believe that I can fly, if not today, someday. I want to live my way with no people staring at me as I am different. Coz I want to tell them all - Yes, I am different. And so are you! What you think of insanity is only a measure for freedom. You dare not to be insane, coz you dare not to be free.

I want to feel a fear of death once; and then let go of all the fears, the fear of hatred, the fear of love, the fear of death, the fear of life!